A Mama's Worries

Oh, my Liddy! How I worry. I try so hard not to, I try to have faith that all these things I am concerned about are a phase that will pass and that you will move past them. I'm perfectly at peace with the fact that you carry around an extra chromosome. I'm ok with the fact that you may not do everything that other babies do right on schedule. I'm fine with the fact that there is a very real possibility that your younger cousin may outgrow you and meet developmental milestones before you do. You are completely your own person and I know that its useless to compare you to anyone else.

But as we sat today among most of our family, with you settled snugly in either Daddy or I's laps, I couldn't help but worry about the fact that you STILL don't let anyone hold you but us.

I remember after Caleb was born, everyone fought over who got to hold him as soon as we walked in the door. And he loved being passed around, getting all the attention, and showing off. While you pucker up and cry any time any one tries to touch you. I know, deep in my heart, that it hurts them and so it hurts me. It hurts me to watch baby Brayden be passed around and cuddled, while you only will allow cuddles from us.

I know, without any question, that they all love you. But faced with your screams and tears, they just leave you alone. And that makes me sad.
I know that no one wants to upset you. I am heartbroken by your tears too. But mostly because I'm afraid that this will always be the way that it is....everyone wanting so much to hug you, kiss you, hold you, and you and I sitting on the sidelines because you just can't deal with all their attention. Will they give up trying before you reach a point where you are actually ok with accepting their love?

I want everyone to see the baby that I see every day...the happy, giggly, cuddly girl that you are when you're with us. The silliness. The spunky attitude. The amazing strides that you have made against the odds. Instead all they get to see is what I think they think is a spoiled baby, who cries any time anyone tries to hold her and instantly stops as soon as she is placed right back in her Mommy's arms.....and it breaks my heart that no one but Daddy, Caleb, Ayden and I get to see you at your very best.
I hope this is a phase. I hope it is something you will grow out of. I KNOW that you are going to be an absolutely amazing little girl, and I don't want them to miss out on any of that. I don't want any one to write you off as a lost cause, or a spoiled brat, when I know that you aren't. I hope that they all understand that it's not them, it's not you, it's not us....it's just a tiny symptom of something that no one can control.

I love you so much, Bug-a-Lug. Never forget.......how amazing, beautiful, smart and absolutely wonderful you are....or how very many people love you!