Dearest wee Bug,
WE ARE HOME!!!!
There aren't adequate words to describe the feeling I had when we turned onto our road yesterday....Kind of like a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders. We made it through. Wow! What an amazing feeling! I can barely choke out the words "It's over now" through the huge lump of relieved tears that now resides in my throat. We walked the road of the truly terrifying and emerged with a few more scars, a few less tears, a lot more faith, and feeling more blessed than we ever have before. Intact. Whole. Better than ever.
I have to say, I knew that you were tough. I knew that before you were even born. But baby, you have blown my mind with how much strength you possess in that teeny body over the last two weeks. And my goodness, are you ever smart! Several times we have tried to trick you into taking your medicine and you have proven every time that you are on to us! You watch everything with those big blue eyes; just drinking it all in.
I find that today everything around me is in technicolor. The sky is just a tad bit bluer and the trees a little bit greener. Even the dry, dead brown grass is just a smidgen browner (haha). Even though I was outside around 40 minutes total every day (some days slightly longer...), I don't think that I even truly took in my surroundings. I was always on my way to make a phone call, or send some texts, or hurry back before you woke up again. It's amazing how much clearer the entire picture is without the glare of the ever present hospital lights, the constant noise, and the never ceasing worry.
The sheer joy on your face when I settled you into your bed last night was like a balm to my heart. I think that was the moment that you realised it was over too. You spent most of today gracing everyone around with your glowing smiles and tiny giggles. Showing off every single thing you know how to do. Clicking your tongue, which you had been working on for several weeks before we left. Blowing raspberries. Growling. Laughing. :) Oh, how I have missed you, my sweet angel! I think I would have given every single thing I have just to see that grin again!
Normal life will begin again in the coming days and weeks. You restart therapy next week, Ayden starts school the next week, and Caleb and I start the following week. It's going to be a big adjustment for me to return to studying and classes after spending the last 8 months at home. BUT! You will get to spend a lot more time with Daddy and I may get to nursing school yet!
For now, I am just going to bask in the glory of your beautiful smile and celebrate how extremely blessed we are.
Poor Mr. Cuddles! He is in BIG trouble!
Thankfully, everything is quickly forgiven!
I love you so very much, my Itsy Bug. Every single day that passes, I fall in love with you a little more and find more in you to admire. I am so grateful, thankful, proud, and blessed to be your mama. :)