A Return to Normal (Whatever THAT Means!)

Dear Bug,

We are edging closer to your 7 month birthday....now only three days away.

 

It's a little strange to me that this time last year we didn't know you. We didn't know yet whether you were a Lydia or a Levi. We didn't have a clue about the often bumpy road we were facing. We hadn't heard the words 'congenital heart defect' or 'Down's Syndrome'. We had just told your brothers they were going to have a sibling and were basking in the sheer joy that comes from being granted a miracle. 

Looking back, I'm glad that we had those months of uncomplicated joy. But I also know that despite the hills and valleys of emotion that were still ahead (and may be still), you have brought me more joy than a baby with a mere 46 chromosomes ever could have. You are still a miracle. Now more dear to me than I could have ever imagined, even back then.

I find myself constantly telling people how very amazing you are. Maybe they get tired of hearing it all of the time, but I can't help myself. You constantly surpass my wildest dreams. Of course I am a proud mama. I have raised (almost) one truly awesome son and I have another chance to raise an immensely precious daughter now. The thing is...I'm not just endlessly gushing in the way that every parent does when I brag on you. You truly are a breathtaking creation. I just want to make sure every single person I know realizes it too!

Tonight I sit here, with three of the kids I love most safely ensconced in their dreams. My heart overflows with love for the precious beings that God has placed in my care. Caleb, with his crazy sense of humor (an awful lot like mine!), his crazy hair, his infectious laugh, and all of his hopes and dreams. Ayden, with his boundless energy, endless curiosity, bruises and scraped knees, strong will, and seemingly bottomless belly (haha). And of course, you, with your strength, determination, beauty, charm and sweet, sweet smiles. 

I am in awe. Each and every one of you is completely unique. Special. Amazing.

So much more than I ever knew to hope for. 

If I could turn back time and trade what we have now for those sunshiny days of ignorant bliss, would I? There echoes in my head a resounding NO. Even though we never knew it, our lives would never have been complete without you. Exactly as you are. Perfect.

Attitude and all.

You teach me faith every single day. You have taught me to pray. You have taught me love, and hope, and exactly how to thank God for His blessings, often in disguise.

I love you, Lydia Anne Ehle. And a whole bunch of other people do too. :)

XOXOXO,

Mommy

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