“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. I'll always be with you.”
~A.A. Milne, from "Winnie the Pooh"

Sunday, August 14, 2011


Dear Lydia,
Some call it destiny. Some fate. Some God's will. All three essentially mean the same thing. That for some reason, people were either in the right place at the right time, or in the wrong place at the wrong one.But, surprisingly, sometimes even that worse case scenario works out for the best.

Life never ceases to amaze me. How random events conspire together at times for a greater purpose. It's virtually mind boggling. 

There are stories of this all around us. The man who was introduced to his future wife at a party that he didn't even want to go to. Best friends who became that way way back in middle school simply because of the proximity of their lockers. The mothers who have found the children they didn't even know they were destined to have until they were facing their pictures on the computer screens in front of them. 
As someone who has always believed in "fate" these thousands of tales are not a surprise to me. 

Sometimes destiny has all of the finesse of a freight train. It comes out of no where and knocks you flat on your tail. While other times, it comes as subtly as gentle rain. A mere whisper, followed by the caress of raindrops on skin. 
One minute you are living your life; the next, everything changes. 

Sometimes those seemingly purposeless twists and turns being us to some place painful. We curse at God and wonder what we ever did to deserve all the anguish we are experiencing. And then, one day, maybe years later, it all becomes clear to us.

My life has never been one without more than it's share of heartache. It hasn't ever been easy. It seems at times that I bounce from one broken heart to the next.

But I can not, and would not, change a single decision, a single path, a single thing.
Fate has brought me here. With your daddy, Caleb, Ayden, and you. Without the tears I have cried, without the scars that my heart carries, without the fiery deaths of so many dreams, I would not be me. And I would not have you.
A trick of fate, which seemed like the end of my world, gave you an extra chromosome. But the bleak future I imagined for you all those months ago did not come to pass. You are not less because of Down's Syndrome. You are MORE.
You carry more strength. More determination. More beauty. More inner light. More smiles, giggles, and facial expressions. More love. More hope. More of Mommy's dreams. 
And by being you, you have made all of us more too. :)

Your amazing destiny awaits you, my lovely Bug. And you can bet your butt, I'm going to be right there beside you, cheering you on!
Loving you so much....

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