The Ones Who Have Come Before......

Dearest Liddy,

As I look back on the beginnings of my pregnancy with you, I can still remember very clearly how very much I wanted to name you after one of the most important women who has ever touched my life, my Nana. I sincerely felt that had she been here on Earth, you would never have existed. I can see her so clearly, giving God what for, telling him that her granddaughter needed another baby, a baby girl, despite what ever medical conditions those doctors said I had. After all, who better to give a miracle than the Man upstairs Himself? Knowing my Nana, that's probably exactly what she told Him too! :)

I could also hear her voice, as plain as if she was sitting beside me, telling me that I had better not even dare to "name that baby Cecile." So in order to keep with my desire to name you after her, I had to use her middle name, Ann. 

Well, I didn't really want to name you Ann. Don't get me wrong. Ann is a very nice name, but somehow it just didn't fit. So after much thought, my mind settled on the second most amazing woman I ever knew, my Granny Cole. Lydia Anne. Yes, that just seemed right.

Keep in mind that all of this consideration came while you were barely more than a tiny bean growing inside me. Long before we knew for sure that you were a girl, long before we knew you would be born with a heart defect, long before we had ever heard the words Down's Syndrome, long before we ever knew YOU.

Looking back now, I can see that it HAD to be divine providence. 

How fitting that I would name a little girl who would need such strength after two of the strongest women I know. How fitting that you would cause me to pray harder than I have ever prayed, while named after two amazing ladies who were both the biggest believers in the power of prayer. How right that you would be a tiny package full of spunk, laughter, orneriness and sheer determination, just as these two ladies always were. How amazing is it that by having you, I became more like the two women I always wanted to grow up to be than I ever was before?

Most amazing of all to me is how much like them you are already. 

You have Nana's huge smile....

as well as her laughter and her sheer joy in living. You ooze love out of every pore of your body, just as she did. (There was absolutely NOTHING in this world like a Nana hug when the world was falling apart around you.) You even cover your mouth when you are really tickled, just like she did.

Granny Cole was just spunky. A lot like you. I can remember how much she traveled, even when she was old (which she was as far back as I remember!) and her many stories about all of her boyfriends. I feel comfort knowing that she thumbed her nose at convention and at how the world expected her to act.  I'm pretty darn sure that when you are older, you are going to do the same.

That's Granny Cole in the background...and Caleb is the baby.

She was full of faith. Full of fire. Stronger than steel, yet still the softest teddy bear underneath. And I have to say, that's you to a T. 

 

I love the little characteristics of them that I see in you. I obviously couldn't have chosen a more fitting name. Knowing now what I was clueless about then, I'm positive that you were aptly named for the struggles you have faced already and those that are still to come. 

I wish that you had gotten the chance to know them. But I'm pretty certain that they know you regardless. :)

Love you so much, baby girl.

XOXOXO,

Mommy