“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. I'll always be with you.”
~A.A. Milne, from "Winnie the Pooh"

Sunday, January 8, 2012

An Unexpected Gift

I dreaded Thursday's arrival. 
It's not something I voiced. It's not even something that I truly acknowledged, even to myself. 
But during the 90 minute drive, the fear, the doubt, the worry washed over me in waves that only grew stronger the closer we were to reaching that final destination.....
The cardiologist's office. Liddy's first check up with Dr. Schomberger since we left the hospital a little less than 6 months ago. Make or break time. 
I was nervous. I was scared. I was fighting it for all that I was worth.
As we settled in to the very room where I had spent so much time during the last 4 months of my pregnancy, staring at Liddy's tiny broken and mangled heart, I waited with barely restrained trepidation.
And then it happened. 
A brief glimpse of a properly working heart. 
I couldn't help it. I gasped. I barely choked out an "Oh my God." before the tech went back and gave me the very best gift I could have ever received. She gave me a good look at my baby's newly rebuilt heart.
I have seen some truly beautiful things in my life (I get to look at one every single day!). But at that moment, I can honestly say that I have never seen anything as beautiful as that tiny heart, with four distinct chambers and two working valves. 
I'm not even going to try to lie. I cried. Like a 34 year old baby........

I have been a slight emotional wreck this week. I honestly can't even count how many times I have fought back tears (or just went ahead and shed them). But unlike this time last year, none of those tears are caused by sadness. Every single one has been because I am simply overwhelmed by the simple beauty in the every day moments that surround me...........

from my precious girl, sitting up entirely on her own.....

and actively playing with her blocks...reaching in and out to pick one or two.......
and even figuring out how to dump them all out at once......
to tea parties with her brother......
where she even drank some imaginary tea........

to the way she looks at both of her brothers...how she just watches them so intently.......
to  how obvious it is how very much they love her and how proud they are to be her big brothers......
to super model poses.....
and super arm strength......
to afternoons spent with a tiny giggling bundle of baby sweetness cuddled on my lap.......

It should be illegal to be as happy as I am these days.
It just doesn't get a whole lot better than this. :)

7 comments:

  1. I know these feelings all too well! The fear of the doctors visits and then finally hearing some good news! I am happy for you and your little one! I also know the feeling of "illegal" happiness... isn't it great?!? Oh yeh, V has that stripped onsie, the tea pot and the blocks. Our girls have fantastic taste! ;)

    http://twilsonismakingthemostoftoday.blogspot.com/

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  2. dont fight back the tears! you have earned everyone of them! yeah for Liddy Bugs perfect beating heart! there is not much that gets better then that! so happy for you all! smiles

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  3. Woo hoo! 4 chambers never looked more beautiful, right?! I can't imagine a better birthday gift for sweet Liddy and her family!

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  4. A strong healthy heart, what a blessing! And just look at how great Liddy is sitting!!!! You guys have come a long way in just one short year!

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  5. Oh how wonderful ... I can only imagine how amazing it was too see her perfect, healthy heart! :) And can I just say ... the picture of Liddy sitting and looking at her brother with one sock on and one sock off ... if I didn't know better, I would think that was my Miss K. She has the same outfit and somehow always manages to have one sock off. ;) Adorable pictures and wonderful news.

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