An Unexpected Gift

I dreaded Thursday's arrival. 

It's not something I voiced. It's not even something that I truly acknowledged, even to myself. 

But during the 90 minute drive, the fear, the doubt, the worry washed over me in waves that only grew stronger the closer we were to reaching that final destination.....

The cardiologist's office. Liddy's first check up with Dr. Schomberger since we left the hospital a little less than 6 months ago. Make or break time. 

I was nervous. I was scared. I was fighting it for all that I was worth.

As we settled in to the very room where I had spent so much time during the last 4 months of my pregnancy, staring at Liddy's tiny broken and mangled heart, I waited with barely restrained trepidation.

And then it happened. 

A brief glimpse of a properly working heart. 

I couldn't help it. I gasped. I barely choked out an "Oh my God." before the tech went back and gave me the very best gift I could have ever received. She gave me a good look at my baby's newly rebuilt heart.

I have seen some truly beautiful things in my life (I get to look at one every single day!). But at that moment, I can honestly say that I have never seen anything as beautiful as that tiny heart, with four distinct chambers and two working valves. 

I'm not even going to try to lie. I cried. Like a 34 year old baby........

I have been a slight emotional wreck this week. I honestly can't even count how many times I have fought back tears (or just went ahead and shed them). But unlike this time last year, none of those tears are caused by sadness. Every single one has been because I am simply overwhelmed by the simple beauty in the every day moments that surround me...........

from my precious girl, sitting up entirely on her own.....

and actively playing with her blocks...reaching in and out to pick one or two.......

and even figuring out how to dump them all out at once......

to tea parties with her brother......

where she even drank some imaginary tea........

to the way she looks at both of her brothers...how she just watches them so intently.......

to  how obvious it is how very much they love her and how proud they are to be her big brothers......

to super model poses.....

and super arm strength......

to afternoons spent with a tiny giggling bundle of baby sweetness cuddled on my lap.......

It should be illegal to be as happy as I am these days.

It just doesn't get a whole lot better than this. :)