“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. I'll always be with you.”
~A.A. Milne, from "Winnie the Pooh"

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

To My Baby Boy on His 15th Birthday...

Time is a funny thing. The seemingly endless hours and days of youth fade into a blur of passing years as you get older....and it seems that nothing speeds the passage of time as much as being a parent. One minute, you're celebrating the long awaited arrival of the precious one you've spent months imagining...the next, they're bigger than you and learning to spread their wings to fly away from your carefully tended nest.
15 years ago, I cleaned the entire house top to bottom. I finally got my then 2 year old stepdaughter to acknowledge for the first time that there was a baby in my belly. I was feeling accomplished. I went to bed and snuggled in for a restful night after a long day. It was not to be.
At 6:18 the next morning, we welcomed a 9 lb 1 oz baby boy into this world. A baby boy who looked more like his daddy than any newborn I have ever laid eyes on. A baby boy who was the talk of the hospital because he came into this world already looking half grown. 

I KNEW this boy was going to change my life. What I could have never imagined was just how much. He introduced me to real motherhood...to being a mommy. He welcomed me into a world where someone else's well being and happiness meant more than my own....a world that was filled with ever increasing amounts of memories which will never fade. 

While in some ways, being a mom to him has gotten a whole lot easier over the passing years, we seem to keep adding challenges to the mix. Watching him rise to greet each one with his amazing sense of humor and growing sense of compassion has brought me more joy than I could have ever believed. 

15 years. It truly seems impossible. I would have never thought that one day I would blink my eyes and find that that impish blonde haired monkey with the bright bubbly laughter and goofy sense of humor would have grown to a nearly 6 ft tall, peach fuzz faced, deep voiced, talented and caring young man that I am faced with now.

Reality has hit me. I'm old. hahaha. No, seriously. The reality hits a little more with each passing year that my baby boy is getting awfully close to being all grown up. Next year, he'll be driving. The year after that going to prom. And the year after that, graduating. It sincerely seems as if I went to bed one night with a little boy and woke up with a man. 

Caleb, I couldn't be a single shred prouder of the man I see you becoming. Generous, loving, compassionate, smart, and hilariously funny. You are a fantastic big brother...and a giant help to your poor tired mama.

We've been through it, you and I. To borrow a line from my favorite movie..."If I was going through Hell, I'd only want one person in the whole world beside me"...and that person would without a doubt be you. 

Thank you for choosing me to be your mama, despite the fact that throughout much of your life, I have had NO clue what I was doing. ;) It's pretty awe inspiring to see the results of it all turning out so much better than I could have ever hoped. 

I love you so much.... Happy, happy birthday!


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