“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. I'll always be with you.”
~A.A. Milne, from "Winnie the Pooh"

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Mother's Day Musings....

I've been a "mother" for nearly 18 years now.
It may seem strange to put it that way to most...but in my world, I have been a mother much longer than I have been a mom. And to me, there is a distinct difference.
You become a mother the day you give birth.A simple matter of biology. However, the distinction lies not in the bringing life into this world but in the nurturing of that life once it is here. So, yes. I have been a mother for coming up on 18 years in August....but I have only been a mom since Caleb came into this world 15 years ago this coming Wednesday.
In my eyes, a mom is the one who changes millions of diapers, who wakes multiple times in the night to feed crying babies, the one who bathes, dresses, and cares for the day to day needs of that child. She is the one who kisses scraped knees and soothes bruised egos, the one who wipes away tears and laughs at pure childhood silliness. She sings songs. She reads stories. She sits up all night with sick kiddos, and worries incessantly about broken bones, bullies, and readying their children for a world that is often cruel. She is not afraid of puke, or snot, or slobber. Most days she walks around with one of the three smeared across her chest like a badge of honor. Being a mom means getting down and dirty, and not shying away from making the hard decisions or being the bad guy, even when its the most difficult thing to be but its in her child's best interest.
You become a mom, not by giving birth, but by slogging through the day to day drudgery of motherhood itself. 
 We mothers tend to carry around a whole lot of guilt...and sometimes with that nasty guilt complex comes a heavy sense of failure. I want to say right now...on Mother's Day.....you are NOT a failure. We are all just stumbling through life in general, doing the best we can to just put one foot in front of the other most days.There isn't a manual. There isn't any way to have a set plan. We all just make decisions based on what we think is best, sometimes good decisions, sometimes not so good. Motherhood isn't any different. You WILL make mistakes. You WILL have to make hard choices. Your child will more than likely at some point tell you that you are a horrible mother or that they hate you. They'll be convinced that your whole goal is to ruin their lives. And you know what? They don't mean a word of it. Even if they don't realize it at the time. One of these days, when they become parents themselves, they're going to be just like you. If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, take heart that they're going to be flattering the hell out of you. :)
So what I am asking of you is this....When those old feelings of failure creep up on you, when the laundry and dirty dishes are piling up, the kids are screaming, and you feel like crawling into bed to do nothing but cry, please remember this. You are amazing. No one else on this Earth is as capable of being your children's mother as you are. Keep your head up and keep fighting the good fight. And never, ever forget that by cleaning puke, and wiping tears, and kissing sweetly smelling heads good night, you are earning your title...the one which deserves nothing but the highest respect....MOM.
Happy Mother's Day...from me to you. :)


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