I have slacked off on blogging badly over the last several months. It would be an adequate (and forgivable) excuse to claim that I simply don't have the time (or energy) to sit down at the keys of my computer and pour my soul out to the world at large nowadays but the real reason is that I find myself sitting here without the inspiration TO pour my soul out. Not that I fail to find inspiration daily in my daughter, or that I love her even a smidgeon less today than I did during all those nearly forgotten days of writing her love letters. Neither of those is true either. But it's funny. The very thing that inspired me to start this blog is the very reason I find myself without words now.
2 years in and Down syndrome, while still a part of who my daughter is, is the least of who she is. Our lives don't center around that extra chromosome like they did in the beginning. It just is and our lives...well, they have settled into just normalcy.
Without the constant stream of doctor's appointments and tests, without the constant worry about an upcoming open heart surgery, without the concern about what others think of her, we're just an average family with 2 active boys, a pregnant nursing student, and a crazy schedule chasing around a very normal two year old with a few developmental delays.
Its amazing to me looking back on those early days after just finding out that Liddy has Down syndrome how far we have come in so short a time. How far I have come, to be honest. There was a time not so long ago when I truly believed that nothing would ever be normal again. A time when all of my thoughts revolved around Down syndrome, when every time I looked at my daughter I searched for the signs of it written in the shape of her eyes, the bridge of her tiny nose, and her crinkle eyed smile. A time when I couldn't imagine how very proud of her I would be, how much she would inspire me, or how ridiculously smart she would be. Not so long ago, I was taken aback and struck speechless by the straggling few who looked at her and KNEW.
2 years later, I never see Down syndrome when I look at her. I just see my spunky, ornery, funny, intelligent, gorgeous daughter. My sweet Liddy. Take away that little extra chromosome? She wouldn't be the girl I love to distraction. She wouldn't be the bubbly girl who greets everyone with her cheery "hi". She wouldn't capture hearts with a flash of her heart stopping crinkle eye smile.Her orneriness wouldn't fill me with so much pride (haha it would just drive me crazy!). Her cuddly, pat you on the back hugs wouldn't be quite so treasured.
Every day that passes I forget about Down syndrome just a little more and fall in love with the unique individual that is my child a whole LOT more.
I mean....seriously....how could I do anything less?
So please forgive me if I lack the eloquence of my previous posts...or if my posts are few and far between nowadays. I'm chasing around a VERY inquisitive 2 year old....
...and frankly, just soaking up every minute of just being her mama. :)
She is amazing and so are you for loving her the way you do:).......... love christine
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