A Glimpse Two Years Later.....

I have slacked off on blogging badly over the last several months. It would be an adequate (and forgivable) excuse to claim that I simply don't have the time (or energy) to sit down at the keys of my computer and pour my soul out to the world at large nowadays but the real reason is that I find myself sitting here without the inspiration TO pour my soul out. Not that I fail to find inspiration daily in my daughter, or that I love her even a smidgeon less today than I did during all those nearly forgotten days of writing her love letters. Neither of those is true either. But it's funny. The very thing that inspired me to start this blog is the very reason I find myself without words now.

 2 years in and Down syndrome, while still a part of who my daughter is, is the least of who she is. Our lives don't center around that extra chromosome like they did in the beginning. It just is and our lives...well, they have settled into just normalcy. 

Without the constant stream of doctor's appointments and tests, without the constant worry about an upcoming open heart surgery, without the concern about what others think of her, we're just an average family with 2 active boys, a pregnant nursing student, and a crazy schedule chasing around a very normal two year old with a few developmental delays.  

 Its amazing to me looking back on those early days after just finding out that Liddy has Down syndrome how far we have come in so short a time. How far I have come, to be honest. There was a time not so long ago when I truly believed that nothing would ever be normal again. A time when all of my thoughts revolved around Down syndrome, when every time I looked at my daughter I searched for the signs of it written in the shape of her eyes, the bridge of her tiny nose, and her crinkle eyed smile. A time when I couldn't imagine how very proud of her I would be, how much she would inspire me, or how ridiculously smart she would be. Not so long ago, I was taken aback and struck speechless by the straggling few who looked at her and KNEW.

2 years later, I never see Down syndrome when I look at her. I just see my spunky, ornery, funny, intelligent, gorgeous daughter. My sweet Liddy. Take away that little extra chromosome? She wouldn't be the girl I love to distraction. She wouldn't be the bubbly girl who greets everyone with her cheery "hi". She wouldn't capture hearts with a flash of her heart stopping crinkle eye smile.Her orneriness wouldn't fill me with so much pride (haha it would just drive me crazy!). Her cuddly, pat you on the back hugs wouldn't be quite so treasured.

 Every day that passes I forget about Down syndrome just a little more and fall in love with the unique individual that is my child a whole LOT more.

I mean....seriously....how could I do anything less? 

So please forgive me if I lack the eloquence of my previous posts...or if my posts are few and far between nowadays. I'm chasing around a VERY inquisitive 2 year old....

...and frankly, just soaking up every minute of just being her mama. :)

Big Changes.....

 There are big things going on in our house.....

Liddy is very very close to walking. She's into everything. She talks our heads off....and knows around 50 signs. 

 She gets cuter by the minute, I swear. And she knows it.

I'm entering the second 8 week stretch of my second semester of nursing school. Which just means I am super busy...a little stressed...and ready for the summer off......

Although its looking like there won't be a whole lot of down time this summer...and no beach time. Instead, we're going to welcoming a new addition.....

Say WHAT???

Meet Levi John.....who will be making his arrival sometime in early to mid-July....

So far things are looking great. He's a rocker and roller already....and a big old boy. Pretty sure that the tiny Princess will be getting a run for her money here in a few months......and right now she has no idea. ;)

So here's to big things in our future......

To My Two Year Old....

Dearest Liddy,

I find that the older I get, the faster time passes by. It seems to me that it was just yesterday, I was looking into your beautiful face for the very first time. It's incomprehensible that I have been blessed enough to stare at that same gorgeous face every day for 730 days.....

We've been through some rough times together, you and I. Some of those 730 days took every bit of the strength I could muster to make it through. But more often than not, our days are simply filled with hugs, and kisses, and smiles, and laughter. That is the greatest blessing that you have brought into my life....the ability to make me smile no matter how bad my day is, how tired I am, or how overwhelming life sometimes gets. 

There have been other gifts you have given and lessons you have patiently taught over the last 2 years. 

Love without reservation. Pray without ceasing. Dancing even when no one is watching. Persistence, grace, and God's infinite mercy. Determination. Patience. Faith in my own strength. There are so many more.....and I know that as you grow, you will continue to teach me with every passing day. 

You greet each morning with a smile on your face....and a bubbly "hi". You dance in the car when the mood strikes you. You sing, loudly, without any thought or care for what others think. You laugh (a lot). You sometimes act crazy (which always makes ME laugh). 

I'm mama to some pretty amazing kids but you are truly the most amazing of them all. 

 

When we first heard the words Down syndrome, it broke my heart into a thousand pieces. Your birth, and being witness to your life, has knit those broken pieces back together. 

I don't know why you chose me to be your mama. I don't know what I did to deserve it. But I am beyond grateful for every single day of the last two years....even the hard ones....

This year was full of changes for all of us. But it was also a year filled with less worry, less fear, and more thankfulness. This coming year is bringing even more changes. But I know that without a doubt, you will rise to the challenge, as you always do, with a beaming, beautiful smile on your face. You are going to be one amazing big sister! :)

I love you more than life, baby. Happy happy birthday!

XOXOXOXO,

Mommy